Hello Ice

It's that time of year again-addictive games of shinny on outdoor rinks with blade-snagging craters of death, in inhumanly cold afternoons, with guys that are too young and too fucking good to do anything but laugh as they take the puck away and go around you with ridiculous ease.

Not that I ever wasn't aware of this, but I'm struck anew at how sexy I find hockey skills. A good player weakens my knees, even as I fight and struggle to keep up with them, and keep going in the corners with them, bigger, stronger and better that they are.

If they're cute, grinning, and tousle-haired with cheeks red behind puffs of exhaled steam in the cold, well, that's a bonus. But a perfect blind pass or impossible deke is really all it takes.

Between being on the ice again, my new slut status, and my persistent admiration of the Craigslist slut, inspiration has struck!

Here's my future craigslist ad:

W4M Wanted: Hockey player with some on-ice skills, because that turns me on.

Like to meet up regularly, but without contract negotiations. Preferably you're not signed to anyone either. I don't want any serious penalty minutes.

Creative playmakers, highsticking, and divers preferred, with long reach and lots of turnovers.

No slapshots, quick releases, or rookies.

Show me some stickhandling, and I'll show you some stickhandling. Lets play our positions and keep bringing the puck to the net. stamina

Meetings at your home ice; email with stats.

In case this is not completely clear- you must actually play hockey- and better than I do, so I can be impressed. I want to see you on ice, stickhandling with panache, before I handle your stick.